An overwhelming grief

I'm almost alway's ovewhelmed. 

When my parent's separated almost a year ago i didn't expect them to find "partners" so soon, nor did i comprehend the impact that it would have on me. 

I can't hack it, this staying at home and Him being here so often- i try to, but i can't.
It doesn't settle either with the show off coffee's with Dad and Her.

And you know what even if there was a manual on this sort of thing, it wouldn't be any easier.

The battle i face is a lonely one, my sisters live a six hour flight away and there only pain is distance.

Mine is watching gooey eyed partners and over-zelous enthusiasm toward me. 

Although what i fear most is the fact that this may be the least of my worries. 

If ever a friend's parents separate, it is not your business to tell them how they feel- it's a kind of grief what you go through and everyone has a different reaction. Love them.

The truth about separation.

 

Separation and Divorce does not just effect the said couple, it does not just effect the kid's, the families the friends. It effects anyone who looks up to the said couple, anyone who has taken that second glance and thought, they have it all together. Separation signifies the loss of hope and trust for the future and all future relationships. without the example of success who do singles look to for hope in Relationships?

Have you ever looked at a [married] couple and thought, yep they're meant to be together.
Have you ever idealised their relationship, thinking it is perfect or completely honest or they have a good communication.

Have you ever had that friend who seems to have found 'true love'.

I have a couple of really great married friends that would check all the above boxes... so that's why today as i heared one of my married friends have separated it really shattered my insides, so bad i felt sick.

The hardest thing is realising that even the most perfect of couples have problems.
I would've considered this [christian] couple as ones that would grow old together but today i think i was hurt beyond belief to find out the opposite.

Having my own parents in the midst of a divorce, has made this situation hit particularly close to home. At the time when i am seeking an example of good godly relationships i find brokenness and pain around every corner.

How do i recover hope that the sanctity of marriage still exists, the promise of forever still hold's fast and that a vow of through sickness and health richness and poorness remains?

I know full well that my God is a God of restoration, He is a God of hope, He is a God of peace, He is a God of honor and commitment.

And sometimes the promises laid out in the bible is the only words of hope i hear, and God's unconditional Love is the only example of a never ending union. but that is enough.

The Beginning

There is a place where a single lady comes too, when she realises life needs a partner.
Man and woman, we were designed this way - we were designed to form one with our future Spouse with God as the head.
Single girls all around are getting snapped up by there future Mr, but a lonely life i still lead.
Singleness is not all it's cracked up to be, this unending freedom- is bound by lack of purpose and people to experience with.
I don't want to be stuck with lonely memories.
I want life, and life is family- the people who love you through trials, through pain, through sacrifice. Love can not be divided, only multiplied.
So this Blog is my desperate plight in unearthing a single woman's inmost thoughts.

I believe in a God who loves, who plans, who handpicks, who gives, who blesses, who heals, who is available. My God is teaching me patience right now, in my standstill of Grace- but he has a plan, he has a future, he has a man he's training up - i just need to trust and wait it out.

In the meantime, i am fervently seeking, always seeking in God's Grace.
knowing not the unending love of an earthly father, Jesus is taking the full load.
and it is hard, knowing i have no control - it is hard.